Last year while out to dinner with my son, Brian, and daughter in law, Carli, Carli poked my Brian and pointed out a young lady at a table across the room. I followed her finger and noticed a table full of high school kids, eating and visiting. My Brian smiled and said he recognized the girl and decided the boy she was sitting next to was her boyfriend. Never having met the girl I asked Brian what was so special about this girl who looked to be about 15. It turns out that this girl, “Iris”, was in Carli’s girls group at church and was very shy, especially when my Brian would come around to help or pick up Carli.
As a result of Iris’ shyness Brian would always make sure and say hello and call her by name whenever he saw her anywhere around town, not just at church. After awhile Iris began to warm up and would tease my son whenever she saw him.
As we ate our dinner we realized that Iris and her friends had not seen us. Realizing this Brian came up with the idea that someone ought to go over to Iris’ table and intimidate her boyfriend. I was willing but was quickly ruled out as to old, it might just be creepy. Brian could do it but he’s at least ten years older than Iris. As we sat there having a discussion of how to embarrass Iris we were obviously getting louder. We didn’t realize it until the young man sitting at the table next to us spoke up. At that time we looked at this young man. He was sitting at the next table with a young lady and a baby.
As we looked at each other the young man offered to do “it” for us. After a minute Brian shrugged his shoulders and turned to the young man, “okay, here’s the deal, her name is Iris, that’s her boyfriend, when she goes to the bathroom scare him just a little bit.” The young man grinned and nodded, “Iris, got it.”
Within ten minutes the opportunity arose, Iris and one of her friends got up from the table and went to the restroom. The young man stood and we got a good look at him. The sight made me rethink my son’s idea for the joke, but I couldn’t stop them. As he stood the young man’s tattoos on his neck and down one arm became visible. In fact, in another setting I would describe this young man as a Hispanic gangbanger.
Sitting back in our chairs we watched as the young man walk over to Iris’ table. We couldn’t hear what he said but we watched as he tapped Iris’ boyfriend on the shoulder, said a few words and then made a slashing motion across his throat before returning to his table. When he got to our table Brian gave him a high five and asked what he said. With a smile the young man told us, “I told him, hey, you know Iris used to be my girl so you better treat her right or else. Then I walked away.”
We were laughing so hard as the young man sat back down and took his baby on his lap. A few minutes later Iris and her girlfriend returned to the table. I noticed that her boyfriend stood and held her chair out, something he hadn’t done before. Again we couldn’t hear the conversation but we could see that Iris noticed something was going on, then the moment came, the boyfriend turned towards us and pointed at the “old” boyfriend.
Iris barely saw the “old” boyfriend at the table next to us, she saw my son. The look on her face said so much. As she walked towards us she said my son’s several times, each time a little louder until she was practically screaming, Brian, when she reached our table. Brian was laughing out loud as Iris started pounding on his shoulder. “Why did you do that?” She asked as she turned and walked to her table.
Brian turned to the young man at the next table and asked, “so tell me, what did you say?” The young man was smiling, “I just said to him, you with Iris? The guy looked scared, but I’ll give it to him, he said yes. So I said, she used to be with me, you treat her right or else. Then I walked away. It looked like I did good.” By that time Brian and I were laughing so hard I dropped my wallet twice before I got cash out to pay both the checks. It was worth it and I thought we were going to settle down and finish our dinner. I was wrong.
Iris had returned to her table and she and her friends were once again talking and eating. Someone at the table had gotten a balloon from the hostess desk and next thing I knew I heard a loud crash as the balloon floated towards the ceiling and collided with one of the light fixtures, both the light fixture and the balloon broke. At the sound I looked around the restaurant and Iris and her friends were laughing while looking scared.
I focused on finishing my dinner but I was interrupted when my son started whispering and pointing. I looked in the direction he was pointing and saw two on duty police officers, in full uniform, waiting to be seated. What was he thinking? Would this evening never end?
Brian leaned over and whispered in Carli’s ear and she started laughing. A minute later Brian stood and approached the officers. While I couldn’t hear the conversation the body language told quite a story. First Brian was pointing at Iris’ table, then he and the officers were laughing. As Brian continued talking the officers first shook their heads then they began smiling. Finally one of them stood up from the table, pointed at Iris’ table.
A minute later we heard Iris exclaim, “what?” rather loudly. In the next breath we heard her shout, “BRIAN!!” The three of us were already moving towards the door, I turned and watched as Brian gave the officers a salute and waved at Iris. As the door closed behind us I saw the police officer return to his seat and Iris and her friends looked like they were pooling their money to pay the bill. After all that excitement I was ready to hit the road and return to my quiet house and bed.